Game Over
by cevec
Summary: A look into the thoughts of Kara Thrace as she contemplates the past's events...


Game Over

A/N- Hey, this is just a little fan fiction I wrote when I was bored. It's just a couple of chappies, not really set at any time of the series. It doesn't tie in with any of the storylines or anything, I just wanted illustrate some of the stress that Kara must go under. And as always, thank you in advance for any reviews, comments or constructive criticism.

Enjoy!

Cevec xxx

I do not own any of the characters in this story. They are all owned by the creator of Battlestar Galactica 2004.

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**Game Over**

_Hey!_

That part is normal. That part is to be expected. I can deal with that.

_How are you?_

_That _is the part I hate. How are you? No, how are you? And the answer is always the same.

_I'm fine thanks._

I would love to see the look of shock on that persons face as you turned around and calmly replied, "Actually, I'm the worst I've ever felt. I feel terrible, my life is meaningless, and I feel lost. I would like to go and get help, but the trouble is, I'm not even sure what the problem is myself. Now would you please frack off and leave me alone."

So many times at night have I looked out my window, isolated by my consciousness as everybody else sleeps, unaware of my personal turmoil. So many times at night have I been deceived into the comfort that no-one can see me cry as the darkness of night conceals my tears. I've often thought that, after so many of these nights, the morning would bring difference. That I would tell someone how I felt. That I would all of a sudden burst into knowledge of what was going on with me. That when someone asked that cursed question; I would answer the truth.

_Hi Kara, how are you today?_

After this, my problem could be shared. However, on the other hand, I could freak the entire crew out for all eternity and be treated like an utter nut case. So, here goes.

_I'm fine thanks. How are you?_

But no. Frack. K.O. Opportunity missed. It's so frustrating. My mouth can't seem to get around the words. I could just say four things. Four things. That's all. No. I'm. Not. Ok.

But what would I say next.

My problem is…

Actually, my problem is…

The problem is that _actually…_

The fracking problem is that we're just drifting along in space right now. That's right. Doing _nothing. _We're all acting like everything is fine, that we're gonna' reach a fracking prophesised planet called Earth and everything will be fine and dandy. We've lost so many lives, and we go into war with the darn fracking toasters like it's a stupid game. I've tried telling the old man so many times that in the end; we may not make it. And if we travel for centuries and find nothing, then that's it. Fini. Finito. No plan B. No emergency back up. Game over. And there is no quit option so we can go back to where we'd saved.

Some people would be surprised to find I often think about the moment of game over. It's a favourite moment of mine. Its addictive, its thrilling, and it annoys the crap out of Apollo if I go through that moment too many times.

Memories come back of when Zack and me used to play card games together. We'd have made our bets, and about to put all of our cards on the table, when your heart starts to pump. You realise; this is it. No more changing. Either him or me. And when I'd put my cards on the table, and realise I'd won, the moment of win or lose would be forgotten. It'd just be victory, until the game started all over again.

Its not just about when Zack was around either.

When the new game begins, and the green light goes, I'm shot out of the tube and I'm facing toasters. Sure, I can fly around a bit; pull a few stunts. Then out of the blue, I would be flying right towards a cylon. My hand will go straight to the trigger, and in that split second before I pull it, its game over moment. My heart stops. What if it gets me before I get it? Frack, frack, stupid fracking _frack! _

But then bam. I draw a good hand. I lay my cards on the table, and the dealer is kind. And the toaster, is quite literally, toast. I am the winner, until the game refreshes, and the moment arrives again too soon.

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A/N- There you have it. Next chapter soon! Thanks to my beta Sarah, for putting up with my smell and me!

Cevec xxx

p.s: I'm sorry for the overuse of the word "frack". I'm not going to use it too much in the future!


End file.
